標籤: MTFUBrotherhood

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Man神，話說我幾個月前認識咗個女仔，大家都係中學生。同佢系啲社交媒體傾過計之後，自己慢慢鍾意咗佢，早排我諗住約佢出嚟，但係佢拒絕左。

 

原因係佢話佢老豆老母唔俾（可能係藉口啦），我到底有咩方法可以約到佢，唔知道你可唔可以俾啲意見我呢？－D

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＃1 I don’t know both of your age. BUT, For secondary school girls, it COULD be a valid reason that her parents don’t allow her to go out with boys.

 

#2 Yet, a more probably reason is that you have generated enough attraction and connection with her before you ask her out.

– You’re liking her ALREADY just because you two chatted in social media, what does that tell her how you choose girls?

 

– She hasn’t invested much in you yet, there’s not enough emotional investment/ incentive for her to risk going out with you.

 

#3 I bet you’re asking her for 1-2-1 date, which is high pressure and boring. Remember, dates are not interviews.

 

First dates are supposed to be FUN, INTERESTING, and a PLAY.

 

So if you truly want entice her to come, post cool pics and videos of what FUN you’re having, and INVITE her to come to join you.

 

Even if she doesn’t, you keep doing shit you love and let her regret not coming.

 

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Hi 我係一個中學生，咁我就同ex分左手兩個月啦，

 

但係上個禮拜我覺得好似鍾意左佢個friend，佢地同班又ok friend，我好想approach佢，但係佢同我一點都唔熟，我想問我應唔應該approach佢？

 

應該點先可以令佢對我有好感？ 希望你幫幫我。 Thanks

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＃1 You all are secondary schools mates, so you all are in an environment where EVERYONE knows EVERYONE.

 

原則上 There’s nothing wrong to 溝 another girl after 2 months of breakup,

 

BUT reality is that this girl is going to tell your EX about this, and even ASK HER about you.

 

Very likely, you are not going to receive great compliments from your EX.

 

And very likely this is going to be EXPOSED to everyone in your school, and you’re going to look so BAD to all the guys and girls.

 

If you truly want her to 對你有好感, then BEFRIEND more people, develop a reputation of the go-to social guy, use the same advice I gave in the last Q&A.

 

i.e. Post cool pics and videos of what FUN you’re having, and INVITE her and people to come to join you.

 

Even if she doesn’t, you keep doing shit you love and let her regret not coming.

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我嘅情況同上次個溝女Q&A一樣，太Nice guy 比人friend zone左，所以我宜家決定左要唔再needy。

 

不過其實我都仲係鐘意嗰個女仔嘅，佢嘅性格好被動，我唔搵佢，佢唔會搵我，

 

我要點先可以係冇聯絡嘅情況下令佢鐘意我呢？定係我宜家應該要直接whatsapp話比佢聽: i dont need you and I treat you like ordinary ?

 

我同左熟左大約三個月，我要等幾耐先可以再出擊溝佢？一個bad boy嘅形象又點樣打造？

 

主要唔明嘅係我要點先可以唔做主動感樣得到，同佢溝通嘅機會？因為我地冇乜共同friend，好難有event 比佢join我

– K

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＃1 Getting rid of neediness, is NOT just a logical rational step.

 

Your EMOTIONS need to be truly non-needy, independent if you truly want change, otherwise you will fall into the same trap again by your natural behaviors.

 

So learn to be an independent man,

 

learn to accept and love yourself when no one else will,

 

learn to DO THINGS that give you long term happiness and fulfillment,

 

participate in activities that make you PROUD and HAPPY,

 

and most importantly, start crafting your own PURPOSE of living your life etc.

 

#2 OMG, when you say “i dont need you and I treat you like ordinary ?“, what does that even mean and subcommunicate!?

 

It means that you CARE SO MUCH to let her know that “I am not needy” but in fact you are extremely needy, and EAGER to let her know your feelings.

 

#3 “Badboy”image is NOT just how you look in your style, it’s more about the CHARACTER TRAIT you need to slowly develop.

 

E.g. Are you being honest with the girl when all you want is SEX and not ready for a relationship? OR you want multiple light fun sex partners but not a girlfriend?

 

E.g. Are you the kind of ambitious man who NEVER settles for less than what you deserve, you FUCKS the status quo of being a work slave, and be proactive in pursuing your own dream?

 

E.g. Are you the kind of WARRIOR who can on one hand protecting a baby with your gentleness, but on the other hand CHOKE and KILL the fucking enemy who is attacking your family!?

 

If you have that physical, mental, emotional TOUGHNESS while having a HEART to help more people you want, you are the fucking badboy.

 

#4 Finally, despite 溝女 is NEVER about chasing, that doesn’t mean you need to be PASSIVE and do nothing, sitting at your home, and waiting girls to do all the work to get you.

 

Being PROACTIVE also doesn’t mean chasing, what 主動 means is that you take ACTION to get girls attention STRATEGICALLY, and slowly lure her in the seduction process, which I have explained in a few episodes before.

 

Also, about this girl. If she is SO indifferent, SO apathetic, SO cold about you,

 

why the fuck do you still try so hard to get these emotionless robots to like you?

 

Do you REALLY want such passive lazy inactive girl in your life?

 

What does that tell about your standards with girls?

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MAN 神 1.關於第一條問題 對已讀不回嘅NEEDY

 

我地應該着重自己控制到嘅事，例如 控制自己嘅思想 情緒 行動，

但雖然我地唔可以去控制人 但我地可以用行動去影響人。

 

其實有咩因素係要對件事，盡自己所能，作出行動？

睇件事對你重唔重要？因為已讀不回呢啲小事no big deal，所以唔洗去深究？

 

有啲事，例如最近我覺得朋友女朋友，有時講野有啲冇禮貌，呢啲事，我覺得重要，就可以作出行動，同佢地講， 大家去揾出原因，了解原因，深究？

 

因為其實我都幾唔鐘意啲人 冇禮貌 唔識尊重人

 

我明白世界咁大 實有人會對你無禮貌 無可能要求，但有時朋友對你冇禮貌真係唔好受 我會想同佢講 咁算唔算needy?

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#1 It seems that you are still STUCK in your head OVERTHINKING when is the right time to pull back and when is the right time to take action.

 

Let me share with you this:

 

Most people spend their MAJOR time on minor things.

e.g. talk about the weather, the stock you have never invested in, the tragic accidents in some places you have never been to, the celebrity wedding, office work gossip, how suck the government it, the intentions of North Korea etc.

 

It’s natural to do so because everyone does that, but following the status quo is almost always a way to guarantee an average mediocre life.

 

These concerns 關注 you have are things you have ZERO CONTROL on, only others can do something about it.

 

You are being REACTIVE to life, you are a victim because you feel like there’s nothing you can do to change it.

 

However, successful people are PROACTIVE, they  focus their MAJOR EFFORTS on something they can do something about.

 

They focus on improving their health, be a better son/father/bf, mastering their wealth-generating skillsets, nurturing their relationships, training their IQ EQ etc.

 

So ask yourself this: Is what concerns me something I have DIRECT CONTROL (problems with your own behaviors/habits), INDIRECT CONTROL (problems with other people’s behaviors), or ZERO CONTROL (problems we can do nothing about with e.g. past realities)?

 

We have to WIN the private battle within ourselves before we win the public battle with the world.

 

Furthermore, you are not a fucking tree.

 

If you don’t like people’s behaviors, why the fuck are you PROACTIVELY putting yourself to endure such situations?

 

Change yourself before you try to change others.

 

Learn to ACCEPT ALL and live with problems you can’t change, even if you don’t like them. Be in peace with them.

 

When you have the COURAGE to change the things you can and what ought to be changed, the SERENITY to ACCEPT things which can’t be changed, and the WISDOM to distinguish between the two, you will WIN in every aspect of your life.

 

So to your Q, “囡囡已讀不回”, is this something you can change DIRECTLY?

 

If no, then have you somehow INDIRECTLY CONTRIBUTED to such situation?

 

If yes, how could your own BEHAVIORS change to minimize such incident to happen?

 

Same to the 無禮貌 thing.

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Hi Manson, Thanks for the explanation, I think I understand it better now.

 

Just want to give you an update: this summer, I have been hanging out and talking to my new and old friends. I really appreciate all of them and their support system. I tried out some new activities as well and it was a fun experience.

 

However, I still feel some emptiness in myself sometimes.

 

I still think about that girl who rejected me couple months ago. I thought I could distract myself with all these new people and activities, but I just seem to not be able to  get over her. Should I just give it more time?

 

I still talk to her from time to time (maybe 1/2 messages a week), but I haven’t seen her for about a month now, even she asked me out. Maybe I should go radio silence with her.

 

Also, I think I need to learn how to not give a fuck for things that are out of my control.

 

I still think about from time to time why she would choose nerdy guys over me. But at the end of the day, all of these thoughts are useless and not helping me in any way.

 

Thanks, Mr. H

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#1 Must cut ALL communication in order to get over her. These contacting are emotional TRIGGERS that make you feel like “you aren’t good enough to deserve her.”

 

Also, it normally takes at least HALF amount of time to recover from “breakups”.

 

E.g. a 2 year relationship will take at least 1 year of zero contact to truly recover (of course it depends on other factors like what you are doing during those space time)

 

#2 How not to give a fuck about things you can’t control?

 

– When you give a fuck, you are in your HEAD THINKING and imagining certain scenarios that is NOT in the present moment.

 

Einstein “The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them.”

 

The way to solve it is NOT to do it through LOGIC, which is at the same level as the problem is.

 

The way is to USE YOUR BODY to solve your mind problems.

 

The body is the mind, vice versa. When you have problems with your mind, solve it with your BODY by breaking your mental patterns

 

E.g. Get out and do a solid workout, go out and do some running, listen to high energy music and DANCE like crazy, SHAKE your body, BARK like a warrior king etc.

 

– Second way, is to DECIDE in advance what are the things you care so much and TRULY give a fuck about, focus on them so hard that you can’t give a fuck about small little stuff.

When you care about something so deeply WITHOUT forcing others to live your own philosophy,

 

and when you reserve the right to change your mind/opinion/philosophy at any time WITHOUT any prior notice for others, you are truly CAREFREE.

 

So for you, what actually MATTERS and what doesn’t? How are you going to live YOUR BELIEFS and VALUES in your own way?

 

If you develop a habit of being GRATEFUL every morning about the things you already have (food, people, your 5 senses, support etc.)

 

while you take action to grow bigger and better to serve a purpose BIGGER than your own benefit, you will not only succeed but also attain a heartwarming fulfillment.

 

1.MAN 神 我想問平時係條街 你會唔會望女仔？  

唔知點解  感覺上 當我比人發現我望緊佢  我會有種好唔舒服嘅感覺！！

好似話左我底牌比佢知 我嘅欲望  我都有鐘意望靚野嘅欲望 好唔型。。。

比到人知自己有want   走去望佢 相比之下好似一望佢  你就輸左

 

– Uncomfortable because of  TENSION

– Lunge Exercise

 

2a.或者 MAN 神 你平時行街個頭會唔會周圍望 ???

 

– Eye contact: Attention

 

– I don’t move my head most of the time, low status people move their head like a headless chicken. You have a MISSION to dominate.

 

– You look straight BEYOND the crowd.

 

2b.  or 同人有眼神接觸 ?係咪應該hold 耐少少？？

我試過hold 太耐 比到人一種好挑釁 好攻擊性嘅感覺  對住男女咁望都係 搞到人地好唔舒服

 

– For men, a few seconds is alright. But it can be misinterpreted

 

– For women, look for a few seconds, smile and look up or horizontally away. DO NOT look down or linger.

 

3.Man 你覺得做人應唔應該有plan 定應該活在當下？？？

但有plan就會有預期對目標有種needy執  但冇plan 活在當下又會冇目標冇方向

 

Stop interpreting planning is NEEDINESS.

 

Neediness means you DON”T accept the whatever outcome is/reality. You cling to your past or you cling to your illusion.

 

Planning also doesn’t mean not being present.

Being present = You are using everything you got to create a life you want without being distracted by life’s bullshit or irrelevance

 

You plan so that you know your vision and where you are going.

 

KEY: No Battle Plan Survives First Contact With The Enemy

-> You plan the moves, see what happens, and then ADJUST

KEY: Be flexible

Yo！我喺MTFU嘅Man神啊。

 

上一集我哋就講咗first kiss嘅意義，今日我哋就去講嚇點樣令到囡囡想kiss你！

 

＃1 首先第一樣嘢就係，你一定要喺已經開始『無辜地』掂緊佢，大家一早已經有一啲自然嘅physical contact。

 

因為呢啲友善嘅innocent touches係一啲你本身平時social一早會做嘅嘢，係用嚟建立舒服互信嘅感覺。

 

＃2 第二樣嘢就係：你係一定要開始同佢嘅身體距離越嚟越接近。

 

因為好簡單嘅道理就係，如果你哋距離遠嘅話，你哋係冇可能kiss到大家嘅 lol

 

＃3 第三樣嘢就係，你可以透過呢招『triangular gazing／三角形凝視』去望住佢。

 

即係話首先望住佢其中一隻眼 (e.g. 左眼)，跟住望另一隻(e.g. 右眼)，跟住望佢個嘴，最後去返左眼。

 

雖然可能睇落冇乜太特別，但係每一次咁樣，女人都絕對會feel到你想錫佢。(BTW，好多時女人都會不自覺地用同一招係你身上，令到你想錫佢）

 

＃4 第四樣嘢，就係講以下呢九個字：『啊…我鍾意你頭先咁做。』，跟住就即刻傾後返自己嘅身體。

 

當你確保你哋之前傾計嘅vibe喺ok，你咁樣同落去講嘅時候，幾乎每次條女都會同你講番『下？咩話？』

 

跟住呢個時候，你就可以講出金句：『哦，頭先有一刻，我以為你想kiss我。』

 

＃5 喺呢個時候，囡囡就只會有三種反應嘅其中一種：Yes，Maybe，No。

 

No嘅意思就係當佢發曬癲同你講話：『下？你㗎？我絕對唔會錫你囉。』

 

基本上呢個情況係永遠唔會出現嘅，而我同其他學生從來都未試過；就算你可能覺得佢真係say no，好多時都只係當時個刻仲未ready好。

 

如果佢say yes講話『好呀』嘅時候，咁呢個時候你就唔需要諗，直接kiss佢。

 

＃6 但係大部分情況你都係會收到maybe／或者啦嘅訊息，比如佢會四圍望唔係好知自己想做啲咩，咁呢個時候你可以有兩個選擇。

 

第一就係你可以直接傾前個身去錫佢，基本上都已經足夠。

 

第二個進階嘅方法，就係你直接同佢：『嚟啦。』，跟住讓佢自己去kiss你！

 

因為呢種咁man嘅方法去叫佢做一啲性愛上嘅嘢，跟住佢又真係做嘅話，係代表你喺性愛上完全佔有咗佢，對你之後嘅relationship好有幫助。

 

無論點都好，喺呢啲時刻你係絕對要錫佢；如果你錯過咗嘅話，你將來就會好難去製造多次咁樣嘅moment令佢想錫你。

 

以上就係整個kissing，尤其是first kiss嘅整個流程，

 

鍾意今集嘅話就like，跟住留言話我知， 下集再見你！

[溝女] First Kiss真正的意義 + 兩大謬誤！

[溝女] 做愛時點樣可以無咁早射？3招解決早洩煩惱！

 

KEY #1: Relax (physically + mentally)

1) Unclench your butt cheeks and anus: 

 

2)  Pay attention to her, don’t just focus on your pleasure

 

KEY #2 Slow The Fvck Down!  

1) Foreplay is important.Sex is NOT just penetration.

 

2) BREATHE DEEPLY!

 

KEY #3 Biofeedback i.e. edging 留意自己高潮邊緣

 

Practice being aware when you are close to climax point, then CUT OFF stimulation completely.

 

“The point of no return”is like 85% orgasm, don’t go there

Reach 75% of climax and then stop all sexual contact with your dick.

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Oh manson,多謝你既見議，我會正視下呢個朋友，我諗我呢位朋友都係無心之失，但我都會提高自己既警覺性：）

 

咁Manson係過去兩三個月都讀過你部分既newletter，發現spark女人既attraction好容易，我成日認識新既女性，佢地都會對我產生好奇感，但我有差唔多半年時間都無sex。

 

一黎我無亂咁溝女，因為我想搵真係多方面合心意；

 

但係我認識既女仔之中好多都係對我產生好奇之後”收左皮”,我自己都諗過呢個問題，其實係因為我對過去半年認識既女性唔大attraction，所以無進展啊、定係我有D地方做得未夠好呢？

 

Manson我呢一刻已經好易係每個場合spark到attraction from girls，咁其實餘下時間點樣令佢地投資啦，

 

我本人唔太想新認識既女性，就個晚sex，我個人比較鍾意慢慢玩Game，令女人覺得有challenge，同埋比時間我了解一個人，Manson請問有咩建議比到我呢？

 

Mr. P

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#1 Well done on taking action to meet women and getting them attraction. However, remember the seduction process is always:

 

– Attention: no matter how and where you “open”/meet them

 

– Attraction: Get her attracted without being needy/creepy. Master push pull and play with tension. Be light, playful, challenging, blame them for liking me, flirting, keep on surface stuff.

 

– Connection: After you both are having FUN teasing each other, then you need to make her WANT to CONNECT with you.

 

You do this by asking yourself “Is she really the kind of girl I like?”

 

You need to have REAL STANDARDS of a girl’s non-physical traits and qualities; if you only want to fuck girls because she is hot, your low standards are only getting you the immature, average girls who lack substance.

 

When you have standards, you give her a chance to qualify/disqualify her, and let her WIN YOU OVER and get your approval.

 

– Isolate and Escalate physically and logistically.

 

Don’t seduce her in front of her friends/ social circle or crowded environment, because they don’t want to be seen as a slut.

 

If you don’t touch her or 天時地利人和 you two can’t get together, you can’t close the deal. You must LEAD and go first, be the cause and pull the fucking trigger.

 

Mr. P, if you can use the above framework to assess where you are, you WILL know what is missing in your seduction and what needs to be done next time 🙂

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親愛厲害既man神，話說小弟上個星期去老蘭一間club玩，然後嗰晚識左個台灣女仔 （感都有好似你講感玩緊既時候，行一行開再翻過去搵佢，同埋佢年紀大過我，然後講到呢樣嘢我都同佢講，『你對我來講都係太後生喇』）識了。雙方交換左contact，但去到最後我都飲醉左，自己走左冇下文。

 

去到依家都有係app傾計（我都好明白要面對面先可以去溝到女而唔係靠電話，但第二日佢已經翻左台灣。）傾計既模式大概係今日我send幾句，聽日佢覆幾句（真係幾句）。

 

不過佢有部分說話我當係佢比信號我，（例如佢話老蘭嗰晚佢經過我fd開嗰張檯，仲好認真感睇下我係唔係度。）同埋我同佢講有個同佢同名既但男人頭像既加我，問係唔係佢，（跟住佢話唔係佢，然後講笑感話，唔通佢中意你）。

 

而且都的確真係唔係佢加我，因為之後睇翻原來個名相差一個字，不過冇同佢解釋翻。

 

感問題來喇。其實點先可以令個關係升溫？又應唔應該係app上面令關係升溫？除左app有咩方法？

 

我打算8月頭去台灣玩順便搵佢，點維持個關係去到8月頭，甚至去到台灣第一日就可以同佢一齊到？異地拍拖或者溝其他地方既女，大概係需要點做或者點調節個心態？

 

多謝man神教我地咁多，麻煩曬你解答我呢d問題，可以擺上YouTube做教學，不過叫無名氏，神秘人會好d，唔該man神。

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#1 When girls go clubbing while travelling, almost ALL of them are NOT looking for a relationship. They only care about having FUN, having some ego validation that “she still can attract guys”, and if you’re hot maybe a one night stand.

 

#2 Good that you had teased her and disqualified her and doing some verbal game on her. But what the fuck did you get drunk!? If you want to hook up the same night OR later days, you gotta remain sober so that you know what you’re doing.

 

Also, whenever you meet a girl in bar/club, figure out her plans and logistics. When you know she’s leaving soon, then you gotta decide if you want to try to CLOSE THE DEAL tonight, because after that it’s unlikely anything are gonna happen.

 

#3 It’s hard to keep that connection going, the more you chat about random stuff, the more you’re falling into a sexless friend zone, because you’re investing so much time/effort/energy into such relationship BEFORE she is really attracted to you.

 

PLUS, you’re only relying on texting as a means of communication, which is super limited and you can’t use any other nonverbal tactics to attract her.

 

So you gotta see if you can get her to any social media accounts you have so that she can SEE YOUR LIFE going on without you actively showing to her. That’s the best way to passively let her invest in you.

 

#4 Then, about 2 weeks before, let her know that you’ll travelling to Taiwan, and invite her to do some FUN stuff you already plan to do for yourself. Also, if you have enough rapport, tell her to bring you around. If she accepts these, then she is definitely interested in you.

 

#5 As regards 異地拍拖, don’t start any long D relationship before maybe you have developed a solid 1-year relationship with her. It’s NOT going to work simply because you both haven’t GROWN the relationship beyond the attraction. You haven’t even enjoyed enough sex with each other to start loving each other fully.

 

#6 However, if you’re only looking for a short quick one-off bang, of course you can do so.

 

All you need to do is to make sure your first impression triggers are on point (style, fitness, BL, tonality, eye contact), have FUN and seduce her, and lead her to the bedroom with no strings attached.

 

Be clear about your intentions that you only want to have some fun, and you think any sort of romantic connection gotta start with a passionate sexual connection, be honest and ACCEPT ALL regardless of whether she convinces herself to sleep with you.

 

＃7 Warning, you haven’t done much qualification on HER INNER PERSONALITY/character yet. I have a feeling you are starting to fall for her based on her external hotness.

 

Be careful, you gotta SCREEN HER properly before you allow yourself to invest more. Otherwise, you’re going to experience MASSIVE PAIN who got tortured by your own imagination.