分類: FBI教你認出危險人物

Best solution is always AVOID them at the first place, but what if sometimes we can’t? E.g. travelling, in bad marriage, at work.

Below are ways how to take care yourself.

#1 Don’t rush to categorize them into boxes.

Use the checklist to see where he/she fits, and see what measures best fit the situation. If life is being threatened (e.g. gunman) , don’t delay and RUN!

#2 If you can’t just leave, find help.

E.g. abusive spouse/boss, you may need a longer time to leave
-> see if you can transfer/work in different shift or department. Talk to HR/management team, build supportive alliance, and prepare to quit

If it’s bad marriage/parents -> you might need mental health professionals to step in and guide you, or social services or police to intervene.

#3 將行為歸類建立檔案，儲證據，有備無患

Sometimes, you can change sb’s behaviors by writing down their words & actions. But even if you can’t, by writing down what they do by date & time, you are building evidence and a case that can be useful in future actions. So a written journal is better than your memory in case you need any court actions.

#4 尋求外界支持，告訴別人你的處境

You want people supporting you and validating your experience, or even step in and help you one day. Never do this alone.

#5 Be careful those who limit your physical freedom

Whether it’s a relationship/group/organization/cult, when sb tries to isolate you from family/friends/co-workers/ppl you trust, that’s red flag because dangerous ppl use isolation to control you.

***Always avoid getting into vehicles with strangers! Once you’re there, your potential for danger increase dramatically. Joe advises us that even if the person has a knife or gun, AVOID GETTING IN!!!

Force yourself out – screaming, kicking, biting, scratching by any means !!!

#6 設定界限，不容越界！

You get what you tolerate with. When you don’t enforce your boundaries, people often step into it. So set up these lines that can NEVER be crossed, once it is crossed, take action to enforce the consequence.

#7 避免事事配合，陷入被操控的處境。

E.g. Don’t allow people who are late and make you wait, don’t change your schedule for them, don’t accommodate to their needs, don’t reward bad behaviors.

Even if you love the person, healthy love is those with healthy boundaries where the other person RESPECTS you. So don’t let people’s bad behaviors get away with special treatments.   

#8 讓孩子得到正面的傾訴渠道

If you have kids OR younger bros/sisters, you have responsibility to protect these innocent children and give them opportunities to be away from dangerous homes or places. Help them understand that any ABUSE (physical or psychological) is NOT normal or acceptable.

#9 In conclusion, 遭遇危險(financial/emotional/psychological/physical)，立即果斷採取行動！Distance yourself immediately or leave the relationship ASAP.

Stragtegies:
– Listen to your body/gut/mind that tells you to get away
– It may be safer NOT to talk/confront the dangerous person directly. So think about your exit strategy on how you can leave/exit safely.
– Don’t face it alone. Use your network of trustworthy family/friends for help

– Get professional help! Support groups/police/social service/help lines are established for such purpose! Don’t be shy!
– Prepare financially for the escape
– Whenever you need to do a BUSINESS DEAL, ask a lot of Qs, delay decision making, ask more qualified professionals to assess a situation

– When you realize nothing can be done for the person whom you suffer, it’s time to let go and save your well being!!
– It may NOT be your fault, don’t blame yourself, it’s NOT a time to act like a victim and do nothing  
– Joe reinteracted that dangerous personalities RARELY get better, it’s a hopeless situation so maintain your distance.

#10 That’s ALL from this book! We have an obligation to ourselves and others to be safe, so help yourself first.

Treating others with dignity and respect is crucial, but that doesn’t mean you have social obligation to allow others to abuse/torment/victimize us.

I hope you ALL enjoyed this 29-episodes series,

LIKE and subscribe to MTFU if you support me to create more great valuable content that can help you NOT only in dating life but also social and professional life.

Any books you want me to read/analyze for you, leave a comment below. Stay safe while you’re having a fun exciting life.

As humans, we have strong abilities to adapt. But we will die like frogs in hot water if we adapt to people with dangerous personalities.

So when you’re suspicious with certain people after going through this series, it is up to you to be vigilant, to assess threats and dangers, and take necessary actions to save your life.

Recommended books to read:

Reid Meloy’s classic, Violence Risk and Threat Assessment;

Fatal Flaws by Stuart Yudofsky, MD;

The Criminal Personality  by SamuelYochelson and Stanton E. Samenow; Without Conscience by Robert Hare;

The Gift of Fear by Gavin de Becker;

#1 What to do?

Don’t think you can TALK to them to change them, OR give them another chance…because they DON’T think they have any problems. Even if they say they will seek help, they won’t.

Rmb, they have character flaws, they can’t self-reflect, they don’t think they need to change, so even professionals cannot guarantee to help them.  

E.g. Narcissists-> lash out because your advice negate their perfect self-image
Emotionally Unstable -> lash out because that’s their nature
Paranoid -> further confirm you are enemy, distrust you
Predatotr -> can’t see fault, may become violent

#2 How to protect yourself daily?

1) Use the checklist in this book to ASSESS the individuals you are concerned with, remind yourself what people to avoid and WHY they behave such ways

2) 別純粹望，別視而不見，要小心觀察！

E.g. stop bury yourself into dumb phones when walking, don’t block your ears by headphones, because predators ALWAYS look for easy unaware targets to hurt, exploit or kill!

3) 相信直覺，感受呢個人俾咩感覺你？
Our body has internal alarm system that warns us from dangers, but you must pay attention to it. So be aware of how you FEEL and what impression a person gives you.

Does your 胃部緊縮，頭髮直豎，皮膚泛紅，反胃焦慮，隱隱覺得不對？These physiological fears might be warning you against this dangerous person.

4) Nice people does NOT mean  good person 討喜不等於善良

Doing nice things for you e.g. help you carry stuff, making fun with kids, being pleasant to neighbors … does NOT mean they have good hearts, they may be evil behind the doors.

Nice actions can be faked to gain personal advantage. But goodness comes from heart and is part of the person’s nature, goodness is about one’s character and intentions. So know the difference.

5) Control space and distance as barriers
E.g. walls, fences, gates, doors, car windows, personal distance when you use ATM or car, personal space when arguing

6) Control time – slow things down

Dangerous personalities usually want you to act quickly – get married, sign contract, write check, let them enter your house, adopt their beliefs…

Stop that, slow things down, create time buffers to THINK and ACT WITHOUT PRESSURE. Often when you feel you’re being rushed, sth is wrong.

7) 小心那些操控玩弄你情緒嘅人，because dangerous personalities are skillful social 扯線公仔 who say/do things to control you

E.g. threat you to commit suicide if you don’t do XYZ. When you feel that your emotions is being manipulated by that person, be careful.

8) 評估其『危險人格』的嚴重性與頻率。

You need to assess where the person falls into the spectrum. Sometimes ppl may display 1-2 behaviors that might alert you once for a while, but if those behaviors happens repeatedly and increasing over time, be careful as they may be affecting you emotionally and physically.

9) Pay attention to time & location whenever you do stuff
Violence increase from 8pm-2am, especially when alcohol and drugs are involved. So when you do a low-risk normal thing e.g. buy from 7-11, it might become a high risk thing if your street is dark, quiet, late at night.

10) Pay attention to how you walk, don’t act like a victim
Predators pick weak passive inattentive targets by how they walk.

So when you’re out, pay attention and observe the people. Don’t use phone, keep your hands free, face traffic, avoid alleys, avoid places where sb can hide.

11) 先查證，後信任

You should spend more time to VERIFY those who you’re dating/marrying. Check if her personal info is accurate, see if she really works where she mentions, see if she has married before, see if she is a criminal etc. Otherwise, you won’t know if she is really trustworthy or not.

12) Don’t wait too long, act immediately if you sense sth is strange

Facing dangerous people, you don’t have much time to act. If you don’t know what to do, distance yourself asap.

Next time, how do deal with dangerous people!

Book Ref:

Book Ref:

Book Ref:

By now you should understand that 獵食者為咗滿足變態慾望，佢會不擇手段將你嘅生命搞到翻天覆地，摧毀你嘅夢想與願望，因為可能你就係擋住佢嘅障礙物。

碰上獵食者，你將會時時戒備，避免衝突，奮力求生，最終令你精力被榨乾；只要佢想嘅話，佢就會折磨你，一點一點擊潰你－財政上／身體上／心理心靈上。

If you happen to feel 唔舒服 in front of certain ppl，可能係因為你身體發出警告訊號，話你知面前有一個侵略性嘅獵食者，令你不自主地發抖，毛骨悚然，甚至出現反胃嘅感覺。

If you feel that, you are lucky and you should BE SUPER ALERT about that person, so that you could avoid a hazardous disaster!

Rmb：唔好假設社會上每個人都係善良美麗，唔好忽略你直覺發出嘅任何警號，因為人類嘅intuition好多時會有智慧地引導你離開危險嘅領域，so pay attention。

獵食者就好似蛇一樣，你唔好以為養蛇養得耐，就可以改變佢爬蟲類嘅天性對你產生感情；

No，獵食者永遠都係毫無良心嘅冷血生物，佢釋出善意，背後目的都係為咗得到更多自己想要嘅嘢，唔好被『你嘅良心』蒙蔽咗佢嘅兇殘天性！

Now，if you have to have any sorts of r/p with 獵食者, you have to understand that 獵食者與獵物(你!)，係無平等可言。

因為獵食者專門取得別人信賴與滋長，好似寄生蟲一樣附係你身上吸乾你嘅血，滿足自己所有需求，然後消滅寄主，so any relationships with 獵食者 can be lethal.

Even if they have kids, they would either be absent/abuse them/harm them, OR they will train children to steal/cheat/lie/fight/break rules.

So by now, you probably know what 獵食者 are like. Where will we meet these 獵食者? Well, they are everywhere in our society.

E.g. women who are alone are easy targets -> those who got beaten up and robbed by some PK 南亞裔人

E.g. sexully rape children -> MJ, BBC TV host of children show Jimmy Savile

E.g. some are corporate predators -> 2008 financial meltdown, 獵食者製造高風險貸款，進行對沖交易，。

E.g. 希特拉，史太林，薩達姆等等極權政體，以酷刑毒氣等殘暴屠殺人民。

－》 領導人嘅使命：無所不用其極地繼續掌握大權。

史太林『一人遇害，是全國悲劇；一百萬人遇害，就成了統計數字。』

只要你錯嘅時間出現喺錯嘅位置／場合，你就會有機會遇上獵食者，無論係老闆／同事／定係鄰居／新朋友／新情人。

You must be vigilant to OBSERVE if the person’s behaviors is TOXIC, irresponsible and intrusive. It’s your responsibility to protect yourself and your loved ones.

Abnormal, abusive, aggressive, aimless, amoral, ammal, antisocial, arrogant, articulate, bad, badass, bad boy, barbaric, bastard,  beast, beguiling, belittling, belligerent, bewildering, biker, black widow, boorish, bullshitter, bully,

calculating, callous, charismatic, charming, cheat, cheater, clever, cold, cold blooded, con, con artist, con man, conniving, contemptuous, controlling, corrupt, corrupting, creep, creepy, criminal, crude, cruel, cunning,

dangerous, deceitful, deceptive, degenerate, delinquent, demeaning, depraved, deranged,  destructive, devilish, dick, discomforting, discordant, disgusting, dishonest, disingenuous, disruptive, domineering, egocentric, electrifying, empty, evil, exploitive,

fire setter, forger, fraud, gangster, gigolo, glib, Godless, grandiose, grifter, guiltless, hasty, heartless, hellish, horrible,  hostile, hustler, immoral, imposter, impulsive, incompatible, inconsiderate, incorrigible, indecent, indifferent, infidelity, inhuman, inhumane,  insane, insatiable, insensitive, insincerity, intense, interesting, intimidating, irresponsible, irritable, irritating,

killer, kleptomaniac, larcenous, lawbreaker, lecherous, leech, liar, loveless, Machiavellian, malevolent, manipulative, mean, mercurial, mesmerizing, mobster, monster, moody, mortifying, narcissistic, nomadic, notorious, noxious, nuisance, odd, parasite, parasitic, pedophile, perverted, picky, pimp, player, possessive, predator, predatory, prick, prickly, promiscuous, puppeteer

quick, rapist, risk-taker, robber, rubbish, rude, ruinous, sadist, sadistic, sarcastic, savage, scary, seducer, seductive, seductress, self-centered, selfish, shallow, shifty, shit, sleazy, smooth, superficial, swindler, tactless, temperamental, thief, thrill-seeker, thug, toxic, twisted, two-faced, tyrant,

uncaring, undependable, unfeeling, unfettered, uninvolved, unreliable, unscrupulous, unsympathetic, untrustworthy, vandal, vile, vindictive, violent, volatile, vulgar, wicked, wild, witty.

＃1 獵食者不斷犯案，只是無人知下一個受害者是誰

The reason they are hard to detect is because they can be 聰明成功，交遊廣闊，有社會地位，沉靜迷人，深居簡出 just like a normal human being.

But they can also be 精於計算操弄，積極掠奪。E.g. designing crime/ follow victim and rob/rape her/ create financial scheme to scam ppl

每次你聽到某人不停觸犯法律，連續性侵犯／設計騙財局 = 獵食者

So they are experts to 犯法，背棄信義，掠奪唔屬於自己嘅嘢，令他人受苦／重傷／謀殺，騙取別人信任，and they will never 改過自新。

Why are not they discovered，逍遙法外? Coz 行事低調，極少被舉發／注意；而且很多人也不知面對著獵食者，that’s why reading this book is super important.

In short, 獵食者共同點：獵捕別人辛勞付出嘅成果，自己從不付出，陷他人與險境，無情輕率地玩弄別人信任，誰都不關心，就算親人也一樣。

＃2 欠缺同情心，毫無悔意，無良心

Search BTK serial killer Dennis Rader，你會發現他形容點樣殺人嘅細節時，佢嘅用詞語氣，都有『情感平淡』嘅傾向，thye are just TOO COLD and UNEMOTIONAL.

Why？Because 獵食者無法感受正常的情緒波動，不明白他人的痛苦，佢哋嘅世界喺冇『同情』，所以情緒十分淡薄。

就算喺愛佢養育佢成長嘅人，獵食者一樣可以落手殘害。

就算佢哋可以分辨是非對錯，知道什麼是邪惡，但獵食者都無所謂，控制唔到自己大開殺戒嘅變態扭曲慾望。

E.g. 2008年奧地利禁室亂倫案，費茲 Josef Fritzl監禁自己的女兒在地下室長達二十四年，並與她生下七個孩子。

獵食者喺唔會內疚，亦唔知道咩叫悔恨，只會繼續毫無歉意地造成更多傷害。

＃3 冷酷，無情，精算，控制

獵食者冷血而無動於衷，所以好似冷血嘅爬蟲類一樣，就算被審訊，都會毫無情緒波動。『殺人好似散步，想嘅時候只需要出門口搵下一個受害者』，生活就係一場『逍遙法外嘅遊戲』

So 獵食者 are good at words and lies. 一般人用語言溝通，獵食者用語言去操控，強迫，恐嚇，欺瞞別人；善於討好說服，誘惑懇求別人，甚至透過道歉扮晒知錯，等法律社會比『改過自身』嘅機會，然後再繼續行騙。

Why 獵食者 keep doing these horrible stuff?

Because it’s not just to 操控玩弄別人，it’s about 獵食者認為自己有神一樣嘅執行力，可以決定別人生死嘅上癮快感。

＃4 索求無度，毫無自制，欠缺自省

Again，獵食者喺無倫理道德嘅自省能力，所以行為任性，好冒險，讓衝動主宰人生，將自己與其他人推入險境，愛透過犯罪得到刺激快感與物質獎勵。

E.g. AIDS guy who actively infected other 17 women with no remorse

類似自戀者，獵食者容易為極微小的挑釁，或別人眼中的輕蔑而格殺勿論，先下手再算。

Finally，獵食者酗酒或濫藥，令性情更不穩定，行為肆無忌憚；或者透過酒精毒品去解除內心恐懼，去勾引他人。

So to conclude: NEVER expect 獵食者 to reflect on themselves, they WON’T change for the better and you should AVOID being in contact with them asap.

Bro, have you been starred by sb and you felt that the person was extra calm, not blinking, and you felt like he/she is like a cold-blooded reptilian?

Or have you seen a picture of sb and you felt 不寒而慄 even though that is just a photograph？

If you have, congrats. Because it’s your brain and body instinctively recognize that this person is NOT normal, and yes this person is a 獵食者。

Your subconscious brain is warning you that you are facing a PURE EVIL, and this person is NOT a normal criminal .

What is a 獵食者?

Well, everyone of us have or WILL encounter 獵食者 because there are MILLIONS of them out there. 獵食者對法律制裁毫不在意，就算造成他人痛苦都毫無反應，屢次犯案，causes MOST HARM out of Big 4 dangerous personalities.

獵食者嘅唯一目標：乾乾淨淨地吸乾你嘅一齊，將你完全剝削，會造出一系列普通人難以想像嘅惡行 e.g. 掠奪搶劫，強姦殺人，虧空公款。

Majority：圍繞在建立關係與追求成就；

獵食者專門搵機會謀取私利，眼中嘅人只有兩類：可以折磨利用滿足需求嘅機會，或者阻住佢搵食，需要清除殲滅嘅絆腳石。

需要車？偷。

需要性？強姦或者剝削弱者或戀童。

需要錢？呃自己老豆老母阿爺阿嫲，或者街外人。

就算你僥倖避過一劫死裡逃生，你嘅心理上都受到重創 e.g. 失去對人嘅信任信心，質疑自我價值，失去尊嚴 etc.

信任獵食者 = 獵食者最鍾意的人性弱點，因為獵食者100%不受良心約束／conscience，眼中沒有情感連結／emotional attachments，無道德，無法無天。

獵食者衡量成功嘅標準 = 如何成功地利用到你。

他們洞悉人心，擅長找出一點，鎖定脆弱／易受傷害／掙扎求存／輕易信人／易受影響或較無能力抵抗嘅人為目標；然後撲向獵物，或者慢慢接近，兇猛地撕暴襲擊！

單從你的行路姿勢或外表，獵食者已經知道誰是容易落手的目標：熱心指路的路人，背負重物的購物者，輕易信陌生人的小孩，行捷徑聽著headphone的孤身年青女子，天真嘅老夫婦，願意隨便開門的家庭主婦 etc.

In short, 所有強姦犯，連環殺手，戀童癖嘅人，偷屋企公司錢嘅人，恐嚇員工嘅老闆，欺負老實人嘅惡霸，貪腐嘅官員，販賣人口嘅黑社會，打劫偷錢嘅強盜，大屠殺嘅國家領袖，全部都係不同程度嘅獵食者。

攻擊你嘅武器包括：小刀，槍，冰錐，毒藥，繩索，電腦，聖經等等；

可以喺你老闆，宗教領袖，教練，同事，理財顧問，小朋友夏令營嘅輔導員，照顧老人家嘅傭工，你愛上嘅女人，你嘅老師，你嘅父母，你尊敬嘅紀律部隊或者政府高官，或者你嘅鄰居。

They are just hidden everywhere，安全與否不在於地點，而是獵食者是否在附近潛伏緊你。

當佢哋出現接近你，只要你唔察覺嘅話，你就會開始遭受折磨或遇害，；你喺生係死，完全取決於獵食者手上。

就好似龍捲風，佢哋肆虐完後必定會摧毀你好多嘢；就算有命，都會令你身心支離破碎。

So that’s the general overview of 獵食者, we’ll come back for their big 4 characteristics tomorrow.

For now, rmb: 獵食者是冷酷無情，無視你嘅利益地確定你嘅下場；就算你睇唔到佢，佢都絕對會注意到獵物。

你唔了解獵食者目貌或行為模式嘅話，你或身邊親密嘅人就注定成為下一個受害者！

Book Ref: