Hey brother/sister, do you know that no matter how good/bad your childhood was, it is going to affect your love & relationship life?
No matter whether your parents took care of you OR never took care of you, our childhood experience WILL influence what kinds of partners we attract in a romantic relationship.
#1 Why? It’s because as a child, we are helpless and ego-centric.
On one hand, we crave love & attention from our primary caretakers;
On the other hand, our naive self believe that every +ve/-ve reactions from others MUST be because of you.
If they treat you good, you think “Me = Good”.
If they treat you bad/negligent, you think “Me = bad”and something is wrong with you.
#2 Do you know why EVERY human being is fvcked up by their parents?
It’s because even though you have the BEST parents in the world, they are gonna do sth unconscious that make you conclude that you are NOT good enough.
E.g. Daddy comes home, you want to play with him, he said too tired and go watch TV, YOU conclude that you are NOT lovable.
E.g. You broke a vase, mum gave you a quick angry look and said you are so naughty to do that, you conclude YOU = BAD = NOT lovable
So little innocent acts from our caretakers will easily make kids conclude that they are NOT good enough.
#3 What do kids do then?
Because of fear of abandonment, we develop a series of survival mechanism.
Maybe we tried to achieve good grades to get our parents attention…
Maybe we withdrew as a hermit and play computer games alone to avoid rejection…
Maybe we intentionally behaved badly just to get their attention…
No matter how we adapt, we start to force our identity to behave in certain ways in order to get love and approval.
And that’s how we develop extreme good boys/extreme bad boys traits to survive in childhood.
How about you brother?
Which strategy did you use?
Can you see how such identity shaping will affect what kind of women you attract?
Feel free to share your story and we’ll start to see why we behave in certain ways today as an adult.
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