分類: 溝女

Before you attract any women in your life, you need to have a good foundation as an attractive male.

 

Women are like icing on a cake, she can’t be your focus on your life, thus you need to have 3 CORE PIECES before you can bring her in.

 

3 Ways to be an attractive male while single:

 

#1 Spend time with friends that UPLIFT you, not pulling you down.

 

GOOD friends are those help you EXPAND your true self and potential, encourage your growth, even if they don’t have the same belief systems.

 

BAD friends are those who keep doing things that KEEP YOU SMALL, you feel collapsed and judged, and they discourage you from pursuing your path.

 

So make it a priority to hang out with these inspiring friends every month. Bros are best because there’s no sexual interest between you all.

 

#2 Meet Your Emotional Needs First

 

If you want to get a girl because you are unhappy, incomplete, boring, lonely, you are going to FVCK UP both of you. Shit life + shit life = shittiest life

 

Just like parents should put oxygen masks on themselves before helping their kids, you should save yourself before you attempt save the world/women.

 

So you must have fun, enjoy your life, take care of yourself and make yourself happy & fulfilling first IF you want a healthy relationship with women!

 

#3 Heal Your Emotional Wounds From Childhood

 

We all have emotional wounds from our childhood. If you don’t go back to explore these unconcious patterns, they are going to fvck up your next r/p because intimacy triggers our emotions the most.

 

So if you have r/p problems with your parents e.g. hatred, enmeshment (neediness with them), parents suffocating you…etc.

the family issues WILL pass on to the next generation with your woman!

 

Explore these with your trusted coach, therapist or men’s’ group where you are in a safe environment to discuss these deep personal issues.

Have you ever labelled certain women as “pure, innocent, gwai, clean” while others as “bitch, sluts, snakes, chicken”?

 

If you have, that’s normal because this slut-shaming has been happening for CENTURIES, and it is pathetic that certain countries are STILL operating in such fvcked up mode and women are stoned to death…

 

However, do you know why if you slut-shame, or if you hold a DOUBLE STANDARDS, it actually hurts YOUR ABILITY to attract women and sex life?

 

#1 Reason: Most girls you meet probably have this FEAR of being labelled as chicken, so most are forced by society to repress her natural sexual urge and PRETEND to be a sexless lady for better “healthy”image.

 

So women have developed an ABILITY to notice any sexual uncomfortability/ shame from you whenever she does/says/slightly mentions sth about sex.

 

#2 If she notices that you have NEGATIVE association with sex, she is NOT going to feel safe to open her sexual side with you.

 

On the other hand, if you can create a safe environment/space for her to be open with ZERO judgement, she will feel accepted and want to explore sexuality with you – whether verbally or physically.

 

#3 So the lesson is: Sex is natural, sex is what makes us alive, women love sex as much as men do, and it’s totally OKAY to accept sex yourself and then accept HER sexuality.

 

Stop labelling women as either slut or clean, SHAME is a toxic weapon that many societies/cultures/government/religious organizations try to control you.  

 

Fvck that sh!t, embrace your sexulity, and be a sexual being who ACCEPTS our nature!

Women are sex objects, men are success objects, that’s what the society deems as valuable in a human being.  

 

So if you are a successful wealthy man, how do you know if she likes you or your external materials?

 

#1 Stop your inclination to PROVIDE for her

 

I understand, we as men feel a natural need to 照顧女人, but if you use such tool to ATTRACT women or to prove your self-worth to her, you are gonna attract GOLD DIGGERS.

 

Alpha male is a state of mind, you don’t fvcking need to buy her cars, pay her rent, pay her tuition in order to attract her.

 

If you do that, that’s a beta male strategy just like those in power abuse their power e.g. 經理人公司搞女模

You’ll never attract those who geneinuely likes you.

 

#2 When you date, don’t spend extravagantly!

 

If you flash money for dates, you are just setting an expectation that YOU are gonna pay for every shit the girl wants.  

 

Those who show off wealth to get girls only means they have NOTHING ELSE that worth a girl’s attention.

 

Instead, focus on having FUN in casual environments. If she doesn’t want to go, she isn’t interested in you yet.

 

#3 When bill comes, does she expects you to pay in full every time?

 

If she goes to toilet everytime bill arrives OR if she doesn’t at least willing to offer to pay for the date, be careful!

 

#4 Observe how she presents herself.

 

Is wearing luxury brands important to her?

Does she possess materials that tries to impress other people?

Does she base her self-worth on stuff she owns OR her character & personality traits?

Be careful for girls who only love luxuries.

 

=> Of course money/power give you more access to high quality women,

 

but when you meet them, you must be vigilant about whether they are attracted to YOU as a person, or YOUR STUFF that helps her show off to others.

I get it, you are TOO BUSY to have a girlfriend OR you think intimacy & relationships are obstacles that affect your money-making goals.

 

But if you are an ambitious entrepreneur, a high level CEO, a badass business titan who dominate the industry, you shouldn’t not understand the power of investing in a relationship.

 

I know, we don’t NEED a woman to be happy while we build our wealth, but do you know why being open to bringing women in actually HELPS your career?

 

Reason #1 Masculine man NEEDS to cultivate their feminine energy to be an integrated powerful human being, one way is to deeply connect with women.

 

Feminine energy RECHARGES us, so a quality woman who is not only sexy but also intelligent + kind-hearted can definitely make you feel less stressful and alive again!

 

#2 Successful men need support at the background

 

I know you want t don’t want to seem needy; but in my own experience & what I see in many successful friends, a quality partner can support us in multiple ways (mentally, emotionally, sexually) that helps us grow our business.

 

Wrong r/p waste your time, but right relationships MULTIPLIES the results you can get.

 

#3 I know you want to feel important in the world, but do you know the longest study in human history by Harvard concludes that it is the QUALITY of relationships that make us most happy and live longest?

 

I have multiple successful private coaching clients who are industry leaders, they seem strong Alphas from the outside, but do you know what they secretly fear and want?

 

They want women who can can understand them, listen to their fears when they share themselves vulnerably in a world of sharks, and feel loved as who they are.

 

Q is: Do you want that Mr. Millionaire? Mr. Future Billionaire?

If you are the kind of guy who “falls in love” too quickly, you gotta be careful because you can easily waste time/energy/effort/heartfelt feelings on some TOXIC people you shouldn’t touch.

 

One of the best ways to build healthy relationships is to understand the WARNING SIGNS of bad candidates, here are some:

 

#1 If she talks about her ex too NEGATIVELY, she still carries an emotional baggage.

 

It means she isn’t emotionally ready for a new r/p and you shouldn’t sacrifice your well-being to try to be nice and fix her.

 

#2 She is 斤斤計較 of the contributions you two make.  

E.g. If she did nice things for you BUT blames you for not returning favors, OR if she is always calculating who contributes more, that’s a bad person to keep around with.

 

#3 She uses sex/intimacy to control you.

E.g. If you make dinner/buy me a bag/help me do this do that, then we’ll have sex/we’ll kiss. -> That’s fvcking manipulative!

 

#4 She is physically abusive

If she tries to hit you seriously or throw things at you, she is a crazy problematic girl that you can’t fix, LEAVE  ASAP!

 

#5 She never apologizes

People who can’t apologize for their wrongdoings implies that they have 玻璃心 and are emotionally volatile. Be careful!

 

#6 She suffocates you OR guilt you into spending more time with her

Girls who are low self-esteem feels insecure to give you space in a relationship. If she refuses to give you some autonomy, end the r/p.

 

#7 She wants to micromanage your life
If she tries to control every little thing of what you do or what you don’t do, she is someone who can’t maintain healthy boundaries.

 

If she can’t trust your ability to make decisions, you won’t have a great r/p with her.

 

=> These principles applies to both men/women, if you have a partner, you should honestly evalue if she is truly compatible to you => long term happiness

Have you encountered this problem: You helped your gf/wife do all the cleaning and stuff, you are a good bf/husband and people say she is such a 幸福 woman, but secretly you two are just NOT having great sex at home?

 

Well, that is a very typical problem in modern relationships and that’s why most couples are NOT truly satisfied. But do you know why this happen?

 

#1 Reason: Sexual Polarity what creates PASSION, LUST and intense desire that you can’t wait to fvck him/her.

 

When you two become too close, too similar, too common…

 

depolarization occurs and he become more feminine + she becomes more masculine UNTIL you two become NEUTRAL.

 

Neutral = feel like close companion, good friend, caring & sweet, comfortable

 

#2 However, if you want GREAT EROTIC 色情 SEX like lovers, you two MUST have highly polarized relationship where he operates in his MASCULINE domain while she operates in her FEMININE domain.

 

Instead of becoming so ALIKE, you two maintain the DIFFERENCES. Instead of always being stable and certain, you need to inject unpredictability, surprises, emotional TENSION.

 

#3 So if you feel very intimate with each other but lacks passion, you as a man need to be more masculine again.

 

Let her know that you need some space for yourself, work out hard to boost your T, increase variety of what you two normally do, connect with other men-only groups…

 

When you regain your masculine energy and be more polarized, you two will have sexual desire for each other again.

Hey bro, do you rmb when we were younger, we were thinking about having our first kiss with a girl you secretly liked for a long time, and that day finally came when you got her out, she surprisingly responded positively, and you two kissed, and you felt like the happiest man in your life?

 

OR when you grew up, you had skills and had no problem getting girls, you could kiss or even close a girl the same night, BUT after sex, you felt that everything is TOO FAST and you felt that you’re missing out sth special?

 

#1 Why is that? It’s because our bodies have 2 typs of pleasure systems.

 

Anticipatory PS 期待性= you imagine yourself having sth you want (sex, money, travelling, group of frds, good food).

 

ANTICIPATION makes us excited about life for a long time. That’s why it’s good to set daily/monthly/yearly goals.

 

Consummatory PS 消耗性= you GET what you want. Dopamine hits quickly, but it’s shorter and that high passes quickly.

 

#2 The same applies to sex, love and relationships.

 

If you want emotional fulfillment, long term happiness and avoid having BAD relationships, then you shouldn’t have rush sex, rush love, rush relationships.

 

#3 Am I saying you shouldn’t have SEX with a girl ASAP?

 

No. You should definitely NOT wait for 10 dates before you sleep with her because too much familiarity/comfort  is what kills sexual tension. (i.e. FZ)

 

But maybe you should find a sweet spot (i.e. 3-5 meetup times), having enough mysteriousness but also enough comfort before you sleep with her.

And if consider a LTR, maybe you should give yourself 4-6 months to OBSERVE & ANALYZE this woman’s behaviors apart from her words/sexy side to decide if she is a good candidate to develop deeper relationships with apart from sex.

 

Balancing this is an art. So have FUN experiencing the pleasures in both short and long term and you’ll know what you really want.

Hey brother/sister, do you know that no matter how good/bad your childhood was, it is going to affect your love & relationship life?

 

No matter whether your parents took care of you OR never took care of you, our childhood experience WILL influence what kinds of partners we attract in a romantic relationship.

 

#1 Why? It’s because as a child, we are helpless and ego-centric.

 

On one hand, we crave love & attention from our primary caretakers;

 

On the other hand, our naive self believe that every +ve/-ve reactions from others MUST be because of you.

 

If they treat you good, you think “Me = Good”.

 

If they treat you bad/negligent, you think “Me = bad”and something is wrong with you.

 

#2 Do you know why EVERY human being is fvcked up by their parents?

 

It’s because even though you have the BEST parents in the world, they are gonna do sth unconscious that make you conclude that you are NOT good enough.

 

E.g. Daddy comes home, you want to play with him, he said too tired and go watch TV, YOU conclude that you are NOT lovable.

 

E.g. You broke a vase, mum gave you a quick angry look and said you are so naughty to do that, you conclude YOU = BAD = NOT lovable  

 

So little innocent acts from our caretakers will easily make kids conclude that they are NOT good enough.

 

#3 What do kids do then?

 

Because of fear of abandonment, we develop a series of survival mechanism.

 

Maybe we tried to achieve good grades to get our parents attention…

Maybe we withdrew as a hermit and play computer games alone to avoid rejection…

Maybe we intentionally behaved badly just to get their attention…

 

No matter how we adapt, we start to force our identity to behave in certain ways in order to get love and approval.

 

And that’s how we develop extreme good boys/extreme bad boys traits to survive in childhood.

 

How about you brother?

 

Which strategy did you use?

 

Can you see how such identity shaping will affect what kind of women you attract?

 

Feel free to share your story and we’ll start to see why we behave in certain ways today as an adult.

Like and Share this video if you think it’s valuable to others, if you want to dive deeper in this topic, let me know.

Are you aware that our biggest enemy is always ourselves?

 

And one common mistake we all do is to CRITICIZE ourselves too harshly that eventually hurts our self-esteem.

 

So let me ask you: Do you love yourself? Can you extend your kindness and love towards your ownself?

 

If you crave happiness, connection, emotional strength and love in the world, you gotta stop being an asshole to yourself and love yourself more FULLY everyday.

 

#1 Meet the basic needs of yourself first

 

E.g. Full night sleep, eat nutritious food, train your body at least 3 times a week

 

If you overload your body with crap, your life is crap!

 

#2 Don’t ignore your emotions

 

Everytime we ignore our certain emotions and just “deal with life”, that ignored emotions will always come back STRONGER to make you pay attention to it.

 

E.g. Ignored stress -> anxiety ->panic attacks.

Ignored frustration-> anger-> rage.

Ignored sadness -> numbness ->depression.

 

Listen to your body and what your emotions are telling you.

 

They are signals on things you should or shouldn’t do MORE!

 

#3 Observe how you critize others

How you treat others externally often reflects how you treat yourself internally.

If you judge others harshly, you also judge yourself harshly when you feel bad.

 

So learn how to treat people with KINDNESS.

We don’t always know what others are going through.

Instead of judging so quickly, step back and be curious WHY they behave in certain ways.

That’s a little known way that helps you love yourself as well.

Do you know that for thousands of years, human tribes always had “rites of passages” where they assist boys to transform into men?

 

While modern society says you are a man when you have “external success symbols”e.g. a good job, a bunch of pussies, a gold medal…

 

many adults still have an APPROVAL-SEEKING psychology when they deal with people and WOMEN.

 

So what are ROP and how can we use it to grow up?

 

#1 ROP has 3 phases – Separate, Transition, Integration

 

Boys must first be taken away from his old environment (parents, friends, possessions), then be CHALLENGED intensely (e.g. travel alone, kill animals himself, survive in the wild), then brought back to his tribe as a transformed man.

 

#2 So to develop these men-character into ourselves in modern times, we must listen to our inner voice that desires an ADVENTURE!

 

Meaning, you must trust your intuition to leave your familiar-environment and START walking your own unique journey.

 

Q: Are you working on a job you TRULY want, or is that job some “good idea” from other people?

Q: Have you started doing whatever you can to explore the world and travel on your own, or are you staying in the same fvcking city for the whole life?

 

#3 Of course these 2 examples are just the tip of the iceberg of what it means to be a man, and your journey is always a never-ending ongoing process…

 

…but if you don’t these, it’s hard to experience massive personal growth as a man and you will always operate with a boy psychology.

 

So let me ask you again: What are the things you know you should be doing, but lack COURAGE to do?

 

Assuming you can have the courage, what ONE thing you can do today to move towards that ideal man you want to become?